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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24285823">Please unfold me for recycling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0Anapher0o/pseuds/o0Anapher0o'>o0Anapher0o</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Deep Dish 9 and more [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Deep Space Nine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Deep Dish Nine, Gen, Humor, potential for miscommunication</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:22:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>827</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24285823</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0Anapher0o/pseuds/o0Anapher0o</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben has to learn something is very wrong with the new pizza boxes. Or: Learning new languages can pose unpredicted challenges.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Deep Dish 9 and more [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1801177</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Please unfold me for recycling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I know I’m abysmally late to this party. I’ve only learned about Deep Dish Nine fairly recently though and completely love it, so I couldn’t not write for it. </p><p>Also this is 100% based on a real pizza box.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Nerys, could you have a look at this?“ Julian was staring at his phone with a confused look on his face. Internally Kira sighed. He was a nice boy once he got over the initial awkward stage, but often Julian was still way too young for his age in her opinion.<br/>
“What is it?” she asked anyway. His frown deepened a little.<br/>
“I’m not sure. Leeta send me this picture of our new pizza box and added a lot of emojis laughing tears. I just don’t understand why.” He handed her the phone. “Maybe I’m overlooking something.”<br/>
Kira sighed again and took a look at the image on the small screen. The blood drained from her face. “Oh no. No no no no. This cannot be what’s written on our pizza boxes.” she muttered.<br/>
Julian gave her a bewildered look.<br/>
“I think it is.” he said.<br/>
Kira all but threw his phone back at him before she stormed towards the kitchen to check that it was true and to yell at someone should she find it so.<br/>
Julian returned his attention to the picture, trying to puzzle it out. From what he could see there was nothing unusual about it. It showed a pizza box, one of the side flaps to be precise, with the DD9 Logo and the instructions how to dispose of the box, neatly written in both Bajoran and Federation Standard.<br/>
“What was that about?” Jadzia leaned curiously over the counter. Julian could only shrug.<br/>
“I have no idea. Something about this picture.”<br/>
He handed her his phone, too. “Leeta seems to think it’s hilarious and Kira just looked like she was having a heart attack over it.”<br/>
Jadzia looked at the image and her eye brows rose. A moment later she was doubling over with laughter.<br/>
“Oh god, I have to be there to see Ben’s face when he finds out.” she gasped.<br/>
With that she pushed the phone into Ezri’s hands, who had come over to see what all the commotion was about, and dashed after Kira.<br/>
“Will someone explain to me what’s going on?” Julian exclaimed frustrated. Ezri handed him back his phone. Her shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter.<br/>
“You don’t read Bajoran, do you?” she asked innocently. </p><p>“We can’t use those boxes.” Kira burst out.<br/>
Ben gave her a slightly surprised look, but was, as always, willing to at least hear her out.<br/>
“Would you care to explain why?” he asked.<br/>
The new boxes had only been out for a week or so and they were already proving quite popular.<br/>
“This!” she exclaimed, gesturing wildly at the text on the side. “This isn’t… We can’t hand that out to people.”<br/>
“Why not?” Ben asked a little miffed.<br/>
He had done the translation himself and was frankly quite proud of it. His Bajoran still left some things to be desired but he had felt secure enough for a simple sentence like this.<br/>
Kira stared at him helplessly. “Because…it’s not…”<br/>
“The wording isn’t exactly innocuous.” Jadzia chimed in.<br/>
She had just entered the kitchen and caught Kira floundering to explain things to Ben. The manager threw her a grateful look.<br/>
Ben raised an eyebrow. “How so?” he asked.<br/>
“Well, there is this word,” Jadzia pointed at the first verb in the sentence.<br/>
“It means ‘to flatten’, I checked.” Ben pointed out.<br/>
“It does,“ Jadzia agreed, “but the usual connotation doesn’t refer to cardboard boxes.” Her mouth twitched with amusement.<br/>
“So what does it refer to?” Ben had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at their collected circuitousness.<br/>
Jadzia cleared her throat. “Usually that word is used to say ‘to get someone laid’.” she explained gently.<br/>
As expected Ben’s face was a picture of horror. “You can’t be serious.”<br/>
“I’m afraid she’s right.” Kira confirmed, suddenly very interested in the tips of her shoes.<br/>
“And it gets worse.” Jadzia continued. Her face expressed real sympathy now.<br/>
“How can this possibly get worse?” Ben groaned.<br/>
“With this part here.” she pointed at the end of the sentence.<br/>
“What about that? Bajoran doesn’t have a word for recycling, I had to improvise.” Ben defended himself meekly.<br/>
“Yes” she agreed encouragingly. “And you did good. Normally ‘to use again’ would work fine. It’s just the context of the sentence that makes it sound really dodgy.” </p><p>“So you’re saying essentially this sentence translates to ‘Get me laid and take me somewhere I will be used again’?” Julian asked, barely able to contain his own mirth at this point.<br/>
Ezri grinned and nodded. Julian couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst out laughing.<br/>
Just when he calmed down again Jadzia came back from the kitchen. She was clutching a bunch of Pizza boxes.<br/>
“Here get them somewhere safe before Kira has them all incinerated.” she ordered, pushing the boxes into Julian’s hands with a wide grin. “They might become collectables. After all isn’t that just the kind of message you want from your Emissary?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not sure what the "canon" for this AU is regarding the whole Emissary business, but in my mind the Bajorans still think Ben was choses by the Prophets.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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